What is my normal 

It is 7:30 at night and I am sitting here writing to you will my kids eat a TV dinner. 

This is the first time in their lives they’ve ever had a microwavable dinner and I now feel like I have sacrificed them at the altar of some horrible future I am creating. 

The amount of guilt I have over one stupid dinner is amazing. I know it is stupid. I know it is just one solidarity day, one solitary dinner. But I still feel awful. 

They, however, think it’s the coolest thing in the world

My undoing

After 18 years, 13 of those in marriage, I have choosen to move out.

I am sure I will, or possible have, discussed some of the reasons as to why but right now I am not into trying to place blame. I am just trying to be happy. I want my husband to find happiness and I want my kids to live happiness. I am doing what I feel I need to do to make that happen.

Today is day 8. Today was rough. I thought I was finding a groove. I woke up today feeling like I was doing better. Feeling like I was handling life on my own well. I still think I am but today was rough.

It seems that it is all the collective grouping of small things that do me in. Give me a big thing. Give me an actual crisis and Momma is good. I will take care of some business and do it all without shedding a single tear. But group up a handful of small wrenches and throw them at me…Well…I tend to unravel a bit.

Today, I unraveled. I just needed a break today. A break from lives little wrenches. But instead life decided to hand me a broken AC compressor in my car during and Arizona heat wave (118 degrees today according to the news, 122 according to my car. Believe who you want.) With 2 kids in tow, it isn’t as easy as it would have been if it was just me. Just me? Fine, roll down the windows and suck it up until Monday. But I got 2 boys who have birthday parties to go to. Places they want to go.

2016 Goals

A new year brings new goals. I always find one word to represent my goals for the year. A single word that will help remind me of my goals and direction. My 2016 Goals are…. (drum roll please)

BE

  • Be a business owner
  • Be more organized
  • Be fit
  • Be Happy

We all know our goals need to be measurable and have a dead line. I will go into each of these goals in more detail in a separate post but below is how my success will be measured on December 31, 2017.

Be a business owner

  1. I will have name, pricing and website established for my new business
  2. I will have at least 6 clients
  3. I will be working full time for my new business

Be Organized

  1. I will create and use lists daily
  2. I will hold myself accountable to my list by not ending my day until my list is complete and tomorrows list is made
  3. I will have a tidy home and workspace

Be Fit

  1. I will weight 105 (oh geez, I can’t believe I just told you that)
  2. I will feel and look more toned and energized
  3. I will have a workout routine

Be Happy

  1. I will yell less. (I may need divine intervention on this one)
  2. I will smile more
  3. I will be more appreciative

****As I write each goals description and list I will link it back here ***

I will BE in 2016. I will be a closer version of the me I want to be. What will you do with your new year?

 

 

Child make over

If you read my post about organizing the Tupperware cabinet, you know that my not having a job is taking its toll on my sanity. What started out as a “lets fix this house up” mission has spilled over to the children.

It is fair to say that I seek out ways to make my life miserable chaotic busy, so why not decide RIGHT NOW is the best time to “help” the kids kick some annoying habits?
Continue reading Child make over