I fucking sharted!
Not the “Oops” little tell-tale trail, skid mark kind. No full on dripping down the leg kind. I full on crapped myself.
Let me offer the excuse (to try and save a little face?) that since the appendicitis the hospital told me to take laxative. Not stool softener. Laxative. I did…..
Continue reading I sharted
Surgery goes well I am told. They remove my appendix and the cyst that ended up being on the appendix and my ovary (sorry again boys, that is the last one. I promise)
I wake up feeling VERY ill. I am extremely nauseous. In tremendous pain. And the morphine they are pumping into me seems to make me feel worse.
Continue reading I hate my appendix a.k.a. part 2
I have been missing. I know. But I have a great excuse!!
I had to say bye bye to my appendix.
Thursday morning I wake up feeling a bit crappy. Crampy, really. Sorry boys. I will try to keep girly talk to a minimum.
It was pretty uncomfortable but not enough to keep me from doing what I needed to do. I mention to my girlfriend (the same one from hiking) that I am pretty sure I have a cyst that is rupturing. She disagrees. I continue on my day. Go to bed that evening and wake up at 2:00 AM feeling very very nauseous. I finally fall back to sleep a few hours later.
Continue reading Bye Bye Appendix
Happy Friday!!!! Before I get too drunk let me use the inspiration I have today to update you on how the first week back to Bee Bucks went.
If you have NO CLUE what I am talking about, hop over to Money Buys Obedience and the rest of us will wait for you to catch up……
Continue reading Update on the Bee Bucks
If you have read about my recent attempt at hiking you understand why I need a list to help make my next hike a little bit smoother. So lets dive right in
**** UPDATED: Added sample of my BBuck design*****
It is no secret that I have been struggling with my 6 year olds behavior. One of the methods we have used in the past that seems to work is money! Sort of.
I created my own money when my sisters were little (there is a 15 and 20 year age gap between me and them) and I used that as their consequence & reward system when they were with me. They LOVED it! So when I had my own kids, I kept it going.
Continue reading Money Buys Obedience
I have a best friend who just loves to try new things. She just enjoys life and wants to live it to the fullest. And like many of your friends, I am sure, she loves to bring me down with her….
“I just read this whole article on fasting and how it is soooooo good for you…..let’s do it!”
“Bat shit is the new miracle drug! Let’s eat it!!”
“….race where you pogo stick for 15 miles……I’ll sign us up”
Continue reading I like going down
As parents, we reserve the right to annoy our friends and family with stories about how smart/gifted our child(ren) are. “Little Timmy walked right up to me and asked why dogs don’t have belly buttons! I mean really, he is only 4 and such a creative thinker. Do you think we should enroll him in veterinary camp this summer?” And we stand there beaming with pride while our friends mentally panic over an appropriately supportive response to our delusion. Sometimes though, we like to use this right for evil. We want to show our superior parenting skills over our friends, “Bobby is already starting to read, why just the other day he….Oh, but don’t worry about your little Jacob, I mean I am sure it is normal for some 2 year olds to still not know any letters of the alphabet….just, have you mentioned it to your pediatrician?”
Well! MY first grader received his SECOND out of school suspension today! So suck on that June Cleaver. Second!!! That is parenting done right!
Continue reading Parenting Pride
I recently read this letter to Dear Abby
Dear Abby: My daughter is mentally ill, homeless and on meth. A year ago, she asked whether I would take her 3-year-old daughter, “Lucy,” so she could get herself together. Unfortunately, she went the other direction.
Continue reading Dear Abby Dear Abby, You won’t believe this