My undoing

After 18 years, 13 of those in marriage, I have choosen to move out.

I am sure I will, or possible have, discussed some of the reasons as to why but right now I am not into trying to place blame. I am just trying to be happy. I want my husband to find happiness and I want my kids to live happiness. I am doing what I feel I need to do to make that happen.

Today is day 8. Today was rough. I thought I was finding a groove. I woke up today feeling like I was doing better. Feeling like I was handling life on my own well. I still think I am but today was rough.

It seems that it is all the collective grouping of small things that do me in. Give me a big thing. Give me an actual crisis and Momma is good. I will take care of some business and do it all without shedding a single tear. But group up a handful of small wrenches and throw them at me…Well…I tend to unravel a bit.

Today, I unraveled. I just needed a break today. A break from lives little wrenches. But instead life decided to hand me a broken AC compressor in my car during and Arizona heat wave (118 degrees today according to the news, 122 according to my car. Believe who you want.) With 2 kids in tow, it isn’t as easy as it would have been if it was just me. Just me? Fine, roll down the windows and suck it up until Monday. But I got 2 boys who have birthday parties to go to. Places they want to go.

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